Holiday tipping guide: who gets cash, gifts or a note

A discreet envelope, slipped quietly and without fanfare, usually works better than making the exchange a public event. Emily Post’s first rule is to stay within your personal budget, and if cash is tight, a homemade gift or a short handwritten note can still carry real weight. The cleanest decisions usually come down to how often someone helped, how good the service was, and whether you already tip them during the year.

Start with the people who helped you all year

Holiday tipping is a traditional way to thank year-round service providers, not an obligation. If you already tip regularly, you can skip the year-end tip altogether or make the holiday thank-you smaller. That applies to recurring helpers such as cleaners, sitters, pet caregivers, and building staff.

The other factor is context. Weigh the quality and frequency of service, the length of the relationship, the type of establishment, and regional customs. Tipping averages also tend to be higher in larger cities, so the same job can carry different expectations in New York than in a smaller market.

Cash, gift, or note

For many readers, the real question is not whether to give, but what form the thanks should take. Cash is the most flexible option for ongoing helpers, especially when the relationship is built on repeated service rather than a one-time interaction. But money is not the only respectable answer: a homemade gift or a short handwritten note can substitute when your budget is stretched.

The note matters more than it sounds. Any gift or tip should be accompanied by a handwritten note of appreciation, and two or three sentences is enough. A $25 envelope with a thoughtful message can feel more considered than a larger amount handed over without a word.

A quick decision tree helps when you are rushing through the season:

• If you already tip regularly, reduce the holiday amount or skip it.

• If the service was frequent and consistently strong, cash is the cleanest thank-you.

• If cash is tight, a homemade treat or short note is still a real gesture.

• If you do not know the norm, ask what is accepted before you give.

In buildings and businesses with formal staff rules, ask what is accepted before you give. When company policy or local custom is unclear, call the front desk or manager to ask what is typical and what is allowed. It is the simplest way to avoid an awkward envelope that has to be returned.

The numbers that are driving this season

Bankrate’s December 3, 2025 holiday tipping survey shows a season of mixed behavior. Fewer Americans planned to tip than in 2024, but median amounts were mostly flat. The medians offer a fast benchmark:

• Housekeeper, $50

• Childcare provider, $48

• Landscaper, gardener or snow remover, $50

• Teacher, $25

• Mail carrier, $20

• Trash or recycling collector, $25

The survey also shows that holiday tipping has become more selective. Bankrate found that 56 percent of U.S. adults usually give bigger tips when they receive better service, while 38 percent say they feel obligated to tip regardless of service. That split is sharper among younger adults: 44 percent of Gen Zers and 42 percent of millennials feel obligated to tip regardless of service, compared with 38 percent of Gen Xers and 29 percent of baby boomers.

Bankrate found the share planning to tip childcare providers fell from 55 percent in 2024 to 47 percent in 2025, and the share planning to tip teachers fell from 53 percent to 47 percent. Ted Rossman, Bankrate’s senior industry analyst, says higher earners are propping up holiday tipping statistics and calls it another example of a K-shaped economy, where many households are cutting back while wealthier ones keep giving at steady or higher levels.

A 2024 Bankrate survey found that 80 percent of Americans planned to give holiday tips to house cleaners and other service workers, but the newer Bankrate data points to a more selective season.

The gray zone: delivery workers and other service rules

Delivery workers are where holiday etiquette gets technical. USPS letter carriers cannot accept cash or gift cards, though they may accept gifts worth $20 or less. FedEx forbids employees from accepting cash or cash equivalents such as gift cards, and UPS discourages drivers from accepting cash. That means the safest option is often a small non-cash gift, a note, or nothing at all if the company’s rules make the answer clear.

The same logic applies to other workplace-bound helpers, from doormen to trash collectors. If the service is ongoing and the local custom is uncertain, a call to the front desk or manager can save you from guessing.