Americans talk money with friends, but lending often ends badly

Americans may talk about money with friends, but lending it is far riskier. LendingTree’s 2025 Friends and Money Report found nearly 6 in 10 Americans are comfortable discussing their finances with friends, yet 33% say they have lied to friends about being in a better financial situation than they really are, and 47% would not loan a best friend $500.

The fault line runs through everyday life. LendingTree said more than 1 in 3 Americans have had a friendship end over money, including nearly 1 in 2 parents of kids under 18. Bankrate’s 2025 Financial Taboos survey found about 7 in 10 U.S. adults have lent money or paid for a group expense expecting reimbursement, and more than half said it went wrong. JG Wentworth found the pattern is common in both directions: 51.6% of respondents had borrowed money from a friend or family member at least once, and 53% had lent money to friends or family.

The data point to a practical rule: before money changes hands, decide whether the amount is truly disposable. If the request is small enough that losing it would not change rent, groceries or bills, the risk is lower. If the amount is large enough to require a promise, it is large enough to require a written repayment plan, a date, and a clear answer on what happens if the borrower misses that deadline. Without those terms, a loan can turn into an unspoken contract with no enforcement and plenty of resentment.

That emotional risk is why many advisers urge caution. NPR Life Kit has warned that lending money to friends and loved ones can become emotionally complicated, and some advisers recommend giving money as a gift instead if it can be afforded. The point is not that generosity is a mistake. It is that informal lending often mixes two separate relationships: friendship and finance.

CFP Board’s March 17, 2026 Financial FOMO research shows the pressure does not stop at lending. It found 83% of Americans are comfortable talking about money with at least one person, but 67% declined social events in the past two years primarily because of cost, and 56% never told loved ones that money was the reason. In that climate, a loan can feel like help in the moment and like leverage later. The safest test is simple: set the amount, set the repayment terms, define the fallback plan, and weigh the emotional cost before saying yes.