Gold Star Mother Finds Routine to Cope After Son's Death in Iran War

Donna Burhans knows what grief does to her when she stays inside. She gets too upset, she says, so she doesn't. Each day, the 67-year-old steps outside onto her family's 35-acre farm in Winter Haven, Florida, and walks. She gardens. She talks, sometimes out loud, to the cows, horses, dogs, cats, and pigs that share the property.

"They're good listeners," Burhans said with a laugh.

She is listening, too, in her way. Listening for some assurance that her son, Maj. Cody Khork, 35, did not die for nothing.

Khork was killed March 1 when an Iranian drone struck a tactical operations center at Port Shuaiba, Kuwait. He was among six U.S. Army Reserve soldiers assigned to the 103rd Sustainment Command, based in Des Moines, Iowa, who died in the attack. All told, 13 U.S. service members have been killed in the Iran war. The Pentagon initially identified only four of the six Kuwait casualties, a delay that stretched an already agonizing wait for families seeking confirmation and information.

The following Saturday, Burhans stood at Dover Air Force Base in Delaware as her son's remains, draped in a flag, were carried off a plane alongside the five other soldiers. President Trump, Melania Trump, and Vice President JD Vance attended the dignified transfer. So did Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth. When Burhans spoke with Trump, she told him she did not want her son's death to be without purpose, and that she hoped the administration would keep fighting. She told him: "Go get 'em."

"You could tell when he walked into the room that he was distraught," she said of Trump. "He had his head down."

Her message to the president places her in the middle of a widening national argument over whether to prosecute or wind down the war. Conservative voices including Tucker Carlson have urged officials to push back against further escalation, warning against strikes intended to "devastate the lives of millions of people." Gas prices have climbed more than $1 per gallon since the war began, and a Morning Consult poll found Trump's approval rating in positive territory in just 17 of 50 states. A two-week ceasefire reached Wednesday offered a pause, though its durability remains uncertain.

Burhans is not conflicted. "Trump knows what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing, and he's doing everything the way it's supposed to be done," she said. "I have my trust in him and God."

Khork grew up in Winter Haven and came to his sense of duty early. He enlisted in the Army Reserve and joined Florida Southern College's ROTC program. "That commitment helped shape the course of his life and reflected the deep sense of duty that was always at the core of who he was," his mother, father James Khork, and stepmother Stacey Khork said in a joint statement. His family described him as "the life of the party, known for his infectious spirit, generous heart, and deep care for those who served alongside him and for everyone blessed to know him." His best friend of 16 years, Abbas Jaffer, wrote on Facebook that Khork was "my best friend, best man, and brother."

A GoFundMe was set up after his death to help cover travel costs the military did not fully provide, an illustration of the financial gaps that Gold Star families often navigate alongside the grief. Burhans told NBC News she is "just so proud of him."

The farm walks continue. Some mornings she talks to Cody. The animals, as she says, don't interrupt.